ETYMOLOGY TURNS ME ON

I had this amazing English teacher in high school who looked like a duck, but that’s beside the point. She did Linguistics and Etymology at University and I remember her saying that at some point in our lives it was our duty to buy The Oxford English Dictionary (or the OED as it’s known on “the streets”) which is currently a mammoth 20 volumes long and costs over $800US. I will buy it one day when I’m ca$hed up. The OED is widely regarded as the greatest dictionary ever written and aside providing the meaning of words it also tracks their origins and evolution.

Maybe I could be a philologist? Or maybe just a plain linguist? Don’t let my retarded, Neanderthal prose give you the wrong idea, this word stuff really does it for me. Anyway I just discovered Ruth Wajnryb’s column Words on SMH online and it’s off the chains. Intransitive colloquial verbs baby.... oh yeah… it’s getting hottt in here.

BEYOND BLACK

Following on the kooky dames tangent/streak I seem to be on, I caught an interview with the English author Hilary Mantel on the radio a few days ago. She has this bizarre, sing song little-girly voice and is obsessed with the paranormal. She told this amazing story of how she once awoke from a disturbed sleep and then in a sort of trance spent several hours furiously writing a story on the computer. When she finished it there was something telling her to make sure she not only saved the work but also printed it out. When she awoke in the morning she could find no trace of the story on her hard drive. Luckily she had printed it out. It was basically her dream state vomiting out coherent prose and unlike anything she had written before. She wrote about this weird episode in The Guardian. Spooky.

 I’d never heard of her work before that and immediately after listening I googled her and found out she has a face like an alien kewpie doll and has written many articles/books with a paranormal bent. Great piece on Hilary and the Devil in The New Yorker here. So please excuse me while I just take my little bag to the library and pick up some Mantel pronto.

FREUD-Y TEETH DREAMS

There’s just something about Louise Hearman’s work that really appeals to me. People seem to refer to her as a Surrealist and sure there are surreal elements to her work but generally I really hate surrealist art and its often sugary lameness. Hearman’s art doesn’t have that, it’s dark, creepy and unsettling.

She's a bit of a kooky dame, very cryptic about her work and its meanings. There are a lot of orbs of light, anonymous heads floating about, clouds, ambiguous gelatinous blobs, strange portraits of dogs and children.

When I first saw her Untitled #1095 it instantly reminded me of one of the most disturbing things I’ve ever seen in my life. At UNSW’s Museum of Human Disease, they have these ovaries in a jar that have cysts on them, but they're not just any cysts... Dermoid cysts spurt of locks of hair, brain cells and teeth. Grosssss. Anyway her work kinds reminds me of that, the mixture of something familiar in an unknown, dreamlike/nightmare/paranormal context...or something.

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING IN ME SAYING...

"You must see this movie"

NO WIRE HANGERS

I love Joan Crawford. She was insane, driven, had the same initials as Jesus and hated wire hangers. She also used to get her make up artists to exaggerate only one side of her face, literally making an eyebrow, eye and lip on one side bigger since she believed this made for better photographs. I think she understood that a bit of strange vulgarity is often very hard to look away from. But then again she was also devastatingly vain.

Anyway, here's some quotes from the classic film based on the autobiography written by JC's adopted daughter Christina, Mommie Dearest. If you've never seen this movie or read the book, your life is not yet complete. It's a core text on the camp trash reader. It's shouting, spilled drinks, being buzzed on dolls, violent tantrums, tears and overacting all rolled into one.

Christina: There's a liquor store to the right.
Joan Crawford: I should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the booze.

Joan Crawford: Don't fuck with me fellas. This ain't my first time at the rodeo

Joan Crawford: Helga, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt.

Joan Crawford: Tear down that BITCH of a bearing wall and put a window where it OUGHT to be.

You tell 'em Joan.


I'd love to get a hold of Joan's deranged 1971 guide to entertaining and "gracious living" entitled "My Way of Life", which includes such gems as: "attempt six impossible things before breakfast", "if your husband gets moody, you get brighter!", a list of things a woman cannot live without... chiffon, 3 way mirrors... it even includes her prized meatloaf recipe. Wow.

SEPTEMBER

Dreamboat much?

DO IT WITH STYLE

GUNS DRAWN

O boyo o boyo o boy! The All Tomorrow's Parties shebang is finally making its way to our fine shores next year (Jan 17/18) as part of the Sydney Festival and it's curated by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds! Yessss.

Acts announced so far include The Saints (!), The Silver Apples and The Necks... icing on the cake being it's going to be on Cockatoo Island too, oh yes. Tickets go on sale November 10, so circle that one in your calendars laydeez and germs.

WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET #1

JAMES CHANCE

Why? Well he's a general cool cucumber and key figure of the amazing No Wave music scene that sprouted in NYC during the late 70s/early 80s. Ah what else? He plays sax, always dresses sharp, went out with Lydia Lunch (what a coupling) and has been in some of the best named bands ever, like James White and the Blacks, The Flaming Demonics, James Chance & the Sardonic Symphonics...

The Contortions album, Buy remains a solid favourite of mine. And now it's starting to get a bit warmer it just works for a dance on balmy nights or before hitting the streets.

Thurston Moore and Byron Coley recently released a book of photographs entitled No Wave: Post Punk which documents the scene and its key characters. The NY Times has a slide show of some images from the book... oh to have a time machine.

DREAM DREAM DREAM

Uh so I'm totally behind the times but my flatmate's copy of Gossip Girl's first season has been doing the rounds around our house and this week I finally dipped my toes in. Now I had been duly warned that it was addictive, but nothing really prepared me for it. I had the hangover from hell yesterday and all I could manage to do was smash episode after episode. At one point I turned my square, red eyes to the clock and it was 4am. It's like the best candy ever! 

Afterwards I even dreamed a GG episode, somehow managing to incorporate myself and my friends in it. Once I did actually dream up an entire episode of Seinfeld, canned laughter and all... I remember waking up and thinking "That was really funny, good job. Must remember that" and then promptly forgot most of the plot and all the jokes in the morning, duh.

Recently I also dreamt about Agyness Deyn telling me all about how she had an abortion. WTF? Analyse that, Sigmund.

SNEAKY AT WORK POST

Styx by David Whitworth

It’s a bit late and I’m not sure if anyone even reads this except that dude in Siberia, but anyway who cares.

If you know what’s good for you head down to Global Gallery in Paddington tonight from 6 preferably with a fat wad of cash. Why? Because my lovely friends (and flatmate) Genevieve Harnett and David Whitworth’s exhibition, Transient, opens tonight. Alongside work by Natalya Shinn, Shannan Sainsbury and Christina Puth. Check out their work here.

David was also one of the 22 finalists selected for this year’s Brett Whiteley Travelling Art Scholarship Prize. The exhibition is on view until the 30 November at the Brett Whiteley Studio in Surry Hills. So check that out too. That concludes the advice I’m giving out for free today.

I’m just hoping I get a little painting for Christmas…

Milk Crate by Genevieve Harnett